Let’s talk about the dream.
You book family photos.
Everyone happily puts on the outfits you carefully selected.
Your children get into the car without complaining.
Nobody spills anything on themselves.
Everyone arrives smiling.
Your partner is thrilled to be there.
The kids listen beautifully.
Nobody cries.
And you effortlessly create perfect family photographs while everyone repeatedly tells you what a wonderful idea this was.
Okay. Now let’s talk about reality.
Someone can’t find a shoe.
Your toddler suddenly hates the outfit they’ve worn three times before.
Your older child has decided smiling is embarrassing.
Someone needs a snack.
Your partner wants to know how long this is going to take.
And you’re wondering why you spent money documenting a family that is currently arguing in the parking lot.
If this sounds familiar, welcome.
You’re normal.
More importantly, your family does not need to be perfectly behaved to have a beautiful family photography session.
In fact, the secret to photographs that look joyful and connected is often to stop trying so hard to make everyone perform.
Here’s how to help everyone—including you—actually enjoy your family session.
By Evelyn & Co. Portraits
1. Don’t Spend the Entire Day Talking About Pictures
It can be tempting to start preparing your children at breakfast.
“Remember, we’re taking pictures tonight.”
Then at lunch:
“You need to be good for pictures later.”
Then two hours before:
“Please don’t get dirty. Remember we have pictures!”
By the time your session begins, family photos have become a high-stakes event everyone is slightly terrified of ruining.
Instead, keep it casual.
For younger children, you might simply tell them:
“We’re going to meet my friend Evelyn and play together while she takes some pictures of us.”
That’s it.
They don’t need a performance review beforehand.
2. Stop Asking Your Kids to Smile
This might be the most important thing in this entire article.
During your session, you do not need to repeatedly tell your children:
“Smile!”
“Look at the camera!”
“Give her your real smile!”
“That’s not your real smile.”
“Why are you making that face?”
We’ve got this.
When parents start coaching from behind the photographer, kids often become more aware of the camera—and less natural.
Instead, let us interact with them.
We might ask silly questions.
Play a game.
Get everyone moving.
Ask your child to whisper something ridiculous in Dad’s ear.
Have them run toward you.
Let them snuggle.
The goal isn’t to manufacture happiness.
It’s to create opportunities for real expressions to happen.
3. Make Sure Everyone Eats First
Hungry children are rarely enthusiastic portrait subjects.
Honestly?
Hungry adults aren’t much better.
Make sure everyone has eaten before your session, especially if we’re photographing close to dinner.
For little ones, bring a few simple, non-messy snacks just in case.
Think crackers or another easy favorite rather than chocolate, brightly colored candy, or anything likely to end up smeared across an outfit.
A snack break isn’t a failed photography session.
Sometimes five crackers are all that stand between us and greatness.
4. Let Your Kids Be Kids
Your toddler may not sit perfectly beside their sibling.
The preschooler may suddenly decide running is the only acceptable activity.
Your six-year-old might think fart jokes are the funniest thing that has ever happened.
The teenager might initially give us approximately three percent enthusiasm.
It’s okay.
Children aren’t tiny adults.
A good family session works with their personalities rather than demanding that they become different people for an hour.
If your toddler wants to move, we’ll move.
And, if your child needs a minute, we’ll give them one.
Or, if someone needs Mom, we’ll photograph them with Mom.
Some of the most meaningful photographs happen when we stop fighting what children naturally want to do.
5. Don’t Threaten Them With Consequences During the Session
We understand the impulse.
You’re five minutes into the session and your child is doing the exact opposite of what you’d hoped.
You lean over and whisper:
“If you don’t cooperate, we’re not getting ice cream.”
Suddenly, the session has become a battle.
Your child is upset.
You’re frustrated.
Everyone is thinking about ice cream instead of enjoying each other.
Unless there’s a genuine safety or behavior issue that needs your intervention, try letting your photographer lead.
We’re used to children.
Really.
A child acting like a child isn’t ruining your session.
6. Bribes Aren’t Completely Off-Limits
Wait.
Didn’t we just say not to threaten the ice cream?
Yes.
There’s a difference between turning the entire session into a negotiation and having something fun planned afterward.
You absolutely can say:
“After pictures, we’re going to get ice cream!”
Now the session is part of a fun family evening rather than an obligation standing between your child and dessert.
Make an experience out of it.
Go for ice cream.
Grab pizza.
Stop somewhere fun afterward.
Then family-photo night becomes something your kids associate with a good memory.
7. Choose Clothing They Can Actually Move In
If your daughter can’t sit comfortably in her dress or your son’s sweater is so itchy that he’s been complaining about it since leaving home, we’re already making things harder than necessary.
Family photography involves more movement than people sometimes expect.
You may walk.
Sit.
Cuddle.
Pick up children.
Play.
Run.
Spin.
Tickle.
Your clothing should allow you to do those things.
Beautiful doesn’t have to mean uncomfortable.
And this is especially important for kids.
Comfortable children are happier children.
8. Give Yourself More Time Than You Think You Need
Few things destroy everyone’s mood faster than:
“GET IN THE CAR! WE’RE LATE!”
Build extra time into your day.
If you think everyone needs an hour to get ready, give yourself an hour and a half.
Lay clothing out ahead of time.
Pack your bag earlier in the day.
Know where everyone’s shoes are.
Feed everyone.
Then leave a little earlier than necessary.
You may still encounter chaos.
You are, after all, attempting to transport an entire family somewhere while everyone is wearing clean clothing.
But at least we can minimize the preventable chaos.
9. Parents: Your Mood Matters
Kids are incredibly good at noticing when we’re stressed.
If you’re constantly correcting everyone—
“Stop doing that.”
“Fix your shirt.”
“Stand up.”
“Look over here.”
“Why can’t you just smile normally?”
—they know something is wrong.
And suddenly everyone becomes tense.
Instead, once your session begins, give yourself permission to hand over some control.
Your job is to love your family.
We’ll handle the photographs.
Look at your kids.
Laugh with them.
Snuggle them.
Play.
Hold your partner’s hand.
Let your child climb into your arms.
If someone isn’t looking at the camera, resist the urge to fix it unless we ask.
Sometimes the photograph where everyone is looking at each other is better anyway.
10. Tell Your Photographer What Your Child Needs
Every child is different.
Maybe your child is shy around new people.
Or they need extra time to warm up.
Maybe they’re sensitive to certain sounds or textures.
Or they don’t like being touched unexpectedly.
Maybe transitions are difficult.
Or … they are extremely energetic.
Maybe they’re happiest when they’re moving.
You don’t need to apologize for any of this.
Tell us.
The more we know about your family, the better we can shape the session around them.
The goal isn’t to force your family into a predetermined photography formula.
It’s to create an experience that works for the people standing in front of the camera.
11. Don’t Panic If Someone Cries
At some point during a family photography session, a child may cry.
This does not mean your session is ruined.
Toddlers cry.
Babies cry.
Preschoolers cry because their sleeve feels weird.
Sometimes they cry because Mom picked them up.
Then they cry because Mom put them down.
We adjust.
Take a break.
Snuggle.
Have a snack.
Switch activities.
Give them a minute.
And then we keep going.
There is no prize for completing a family photography session without a single tear.
12. Your Partner Doesn’t Have to Love Family Photos
If your spouse or partner isn’t exactly counting down the days until family-photo night, you’re not alone.
They don’t need to love photography.
They just need to participate.
And here’s the good news:
A family session doesn’t have to involve standing still and smiling at a camera for an hour.
We’ll move, interact, and get the traditional everyone-looking-at-the-camera photograph.
And then we’ll do the fun stuff.
The goal is for your gallery to feel like your relationships, not a collection of school pictures featuring adults.
13. Stop Chasing the “Perfect” Family Photograph
Of course we’ll work toward that beautiful photograph where everyone is together and looking wonderful.
But don’t overlook everything that happens around it.
Your toddler laughing into Dad’s shoulder.
Your daughter reaching for your hand.
While your son is making his sister laugh.
Your baby staring up at you.
Your spouse looking at the kids.
The way your child fits against your body right now.
Those moments might not be the photograph you imagined hanging above the fireplace.
But years from now?
They may be the ones that make you feel the most.
14. Trust the Process
Here’s something important to remember:
You’re experiencing the session. Your photographer is seeing the photographs.
Those are two very different perspectives.
You may think:
My toddler didn’t stop moving.
We may be seeing an incredible photograph of that toddler running into your arms.
You may think:
My kids were being ridiculous.
We may be photographing genuine belly laughs.
You may think:
Nobody was looking at the camera.
We may be seeing five people completely connected to one another.
Don’t judge your finished gallery based on how chaotic five minutes of the session felt.
Let us do our job.
You might be surprised by how much beauty was hiding inside the chaos.
The Secret Is That Your Family Doesn’t Need Fixing
You don’t need different children for family photos.
And, you definitely don’t need a more enthusiastic spouse.
You don’t need everyone to suddenly become calm, perfectly coordinated models.
You need your people.
The loud ones.
The shy ones.
The silly ones.
The child who never stops moving.
The baby who only wants Mom.
The partner who claims they hate pictures but somehow ends up laughing anyway.
That’s your family.
And that’s who we’re there to photograph.
Come Ready to Love Your People
So before your next family session, remember:
Feed everyone.
Choose comfortable clothes.
Give yourself extra time.
Bring a snack.
Plan something fun afterward.
And once you arrive?
Stop worrying about getting the picture.
That’s our job.
Your job is much simpler.
Hold your babies.
Laugh with your partner.
Play with your kids.
Let them be weird.
Let things get a little messy.
And enjoy being together.
Because the best family photographs don’t necessarily come from families who behave perfectly.
They come from families who forget, even for a moment, that they’re having their picture taken.
And that’s where the magic happens.
— Katie
Evelyn & Co. Portraits
